Q: Our granddaughter, who is 17, and her fiance, 18, will graduate high school in June. They have been "in love" for the past year and want to marry upon graduation. We love them both, but we believe it is unrealistic and too soon. My husband and I have faced many tough years because we married too young. We were only able to survive because his parents had a small farm, which was our backup. Neither of their families is in a position to become their backup, nor are we. How can we share our experience with them?

A: As teenagers, we experienced the same urgency and power of physical attraction. Patience and discipline are needed to develop maturity. The use of a professional pre-marriage checklist, which is available on many websites or at libraries, could be helpful. As they will learn, successful marriages are not based on a couple of issues, but perhaps hundreds. Often, third party advice is more acceptable than parental wisdom. Suggesting or introducing them to a family counselor and/or a religious leader could increase their knowledge of the pros and cons of how to succeed in marriage.

Choosing to marry should be based on the willingness to make a lifetime commitment. Love, friendship, common goals, commitment, trust, sharing responsibilities, handling money, caretaking issues and religious beliefs should be the Top 10 priorities. Statistics reveal that half of teenage marriages end in divorce within 15 years.

Remain positive, patient, thoughtful and loving to the teenagers. Sometimes, after marriage, undiscussed issues surface because of their failure to communicate -- or fear to do so -- feelings about money, income, having children, a desire to escape overly involved parents, a need for love or even domestic abuse.

Because of the uncertainty of long-term marriages, women are at a higher risk of being unable to take care of themselves should there be a marriage split. Single teenage mothers usually have less independence, less work experience and fewer job qualifications.

Both grandparents and parents can be helpful by keeping the lines of communication open, making your points based on practical reasons rather than emotional ones and assuring them of your love and hopes for them.

As a last-minute tactic, suggest that if they agree not to marry until he reaches 21, you will bestow a substantial check upon them. Bingo!

Q: We have the majority of our assets invested in the stock market. Based on our buy-and-hold-long strategy, we are nervous about selling or buying stocks. What would you recommend?

A: Although I am not an investment adviser, common sense reminds us to monitor our investments and to find a qualified adviser to help us do so. Even professionals hesitate to make a commitment as to whether we are now headed for inflation or deflation.

Each investor has a different profile based on his or her goals, risk acceptance, age, health, emotional attachment, initial cost, taxation and other unique issues. The challenge is to find an objective financial partner who understands your wishes and who will advise you based on your reasoning, not theirs.

One "genius" was recently quoted as saying you could rarely go wrong in the stock market if you choose a strategy of not investing in what others are doing, but doing the opposite. That quote may take some time to verify!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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