Q: The older I become, the more challenging it is to get things done. At the close of the day, I feel frustrated by not achieving success. What can I do?


A: Experts recommend first listing your most important goals. Then, make a list of one or two goals for your daily accomplishment.

What is the big secret for succeeding in making the goals? They respond: "It is how to use your most energetic time to maximize your production!" Most individuals are most productive the first hour after awakening. Winners first go to the bathroom, heat a cup of coffee, grab their goal list and march into battle. Night people can use the same technique.

Doers do not waste their most creative and productive time on routine tasks. They remain focused on their goals until each item is completed. They skip watching TV, reading the paper, doing dishes, surfing their e-mail and whatever until later. To avoid interruptions, they inform their family and friends of their morning priorities.

As you succeed in getting things done, the joy of knowing your afternoon will be free becomes a major stimulant. Progress is infectious and enhances your self-esteem.

If you need extra help and support, ask your family and friends. Your supporters will be happier sharing their time and, perhaps money, by realizing you are dealing with your needs and desire to remain independent.

Mental clutter places you at a disadvantage, but utilizing your productive time can help erase those "must-do" schedules. Schedule a monthly "garbage day," such as paying bills, cleaning the garage, taking donations to charities and other tasks to simplify your life.

Remember to list your priorities before bedtime, so you will ready to go the next morning. Winners who use the early-day goal habit guarantee it helps get things done. It works for me!

Q: I was widowed some time ago, and friends blind-dated me with a lovely, wonderful widow. It took! We learned that we had many beliefs and interests in common. We are in love and consider our meeting both a blessing and bonus at this stage of our lives. Occasionally, friends ask when we plan to marry. For personal reasons, we do not plan to do so. How should we answer?

A: That question is personal and should never be asked as it puts you on the spot. It is no one else's business. Some friends may casually ask because they like you and believe you are a great couple. Others may ask out of jealousy, envy, unhappiness in their marriages, or they are just plain gossipers.

Knowing yourselves, your goals and your future, others are not in a position to question you. As mature, intelligent adults, you are not asking for another opinion.

Both men and women, especially single seniors, need each other to support loneliness and lack of companionship. Simply ignore intimate questions.

If this is the only issue in your new relationship, how lucky can you get?



Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com.